Vicky Pollard – Joy Ride

EXT. Road. Black Renault Car flying up road well over the speed limit passing and running several stop signs.

TOM V/O: Yet Again Vicky has been stopped for Joyriding, at least this time its not a Bike.

Police pull the car over. Tinted windows. Police man gets out of car and approaches the car and makes the ‘wind your window down’ hand gesture. You start to see the Pink track suite and ginger hair of Vicky pollards.

Policeman: Hello, Vicky, Do you know how fast you were driving up there?

Vicky: Yeah I was like doin 40 or summin or nuffin like its any of your business I mean Jackie Saintclare is out round the back of Morrisons with Erik the 50 year old virgin having sex for like the 4^th time in 3 hours. I was with her and they start like sayin go away Vicky you shouldn’t be listen or watching go do your boy friend. Then I like so skits out and totally started to hit her and punch then she like went and got her mum and said that I was hitting her when I was well like not.

Policeman: Ok Vicky, do you have your driving licence with you and proof your insured.

Vicky: Yeah, but the picture is like well out of date it was taken like 10 years ago when is was like 4 or summin. Josh and them started totally messin about with this like 40 year old women, well she was like 12 actually but they well started shouting at her and pushing her about.

Policeman: Driving Licence?

Vicky: Yeah im getting it, oh my god that is like well wrong what you just said to me….

Policeman: VICKY! Licence, if you do have one please.

Vicky pulls out the driving licence from the glove compartment. It shows a Black man in his 80’s on it and it has 6 points on the licence.

Vicky: There you go

Gives the licence to the policeman.

Policeman: Ok Vicky please can you step out of the car and stand here away from traffic.

Vicky: I aint even done nuffin, im well going to report you for this I mean like im out walking and you stop me.

Policeman: Vicky we pulled you over while you were driving this vehicle.

Vicky: I don’t even have a car I’m how can Slappy said you have to be like 60 before you can get a car so there is like no way this is my car.

Policeman: yes Vicky we know that that’s why you’re under arrest.

Policeman takes Vicky and puts her into the car.

Vicky: That is so unfair; I haven’t even been arrested today so I should like well get away with this.