Details:
Little Britain Live – 12 th November 2005 Manchester Apollo
Seat 44 Row NN

Characters:
Andy and Lou – Jet Pack
Ray – Bill
Carol – Travel Agents – Disney Land , Old Man
Linda – Chewbacca
Marjorie Dawes – Fat Fighters Paul, Audience Member.
Daffyd – Hands Him self in + Gay Song
Des Kay – Des Kay's Camping Holiday fill in for Orville, Find the sausage.
Sebastian – Prime Minister and wife break up.
Dudley and Ting Tong – How they met
Maggie and Judy – Cake Stall
Anne – Stars in their eyes
Bubbles – Bank manager
Vicky Pollard – The ultra cool teacher invites Vicky into assembly.
Emily and Florence – Rough Sailor Pub
Mr Mann – Buying Paint
Kenny Craig – Buying and Engagement ring
Denise Waterman – New series of Grange hill.
Peeing Lady – Vegetable Stand

The Story

On Saturday 12 th November 2005 me and my dad went on down to Manchester to watch the Live tour of the best damn British comedy of this time. Yes, we went to watch Little Britain Live at the Manchester Apollo on its last date in our area.

We set for Manchester from my house at around 4:20PM hoping to get their at around 6:15PM, and boy did we over think, we got their at 5:40PM and we were stood in the freezing cold for ages. I had to go to the bog 3 times while stood outside. Their was a Carling Pub round the back of the Apollo near the Little Britain trucks but that was jam packed and getting to the bog was sure an unforgettable experience. Before the doors had even opened the ‘fellas' looking to buy spare tickets who seemed to be talking to the door man made us feel very uncountable because we are asked almost 5 times, while the bloke was doing it very sneakily we wasn't very happy. On top of that we were right at the front of the mile long cue which seemed as if it went passed the Apollo and out onto the next street, then all of a sudden were allowed in, the doors open and we were at the front, then we went to the doorman to get our tickets ripped, my god he was slow, about 50 people got in before us and that really bugged me, then we hoped to at least get a drink but the cue had already gone out of the door again, we pushed our way through to the merchandise stall and was very un-amused to find that they had sold out of the official tour t-shirts saying Little Britain Live on, but I got a ‘I want that one' T-shirt and went on my way with my programme and Little Britain bag. Anyway we skipped the drink and went in and found out seat, right at the back, I was so very unhappy, we still had a good view but that is by far the last time I ever trust that stupid seating map on the site again. Anyway we sat down and had a great view, we could see the masses of feet from under the curtains and the video and lighting guys were playing around and fecked the thing up because the lighting of the jail window for the last sketch started to shine but it was all good and well as we waiting for 30mins. Me and my dad started to get edgy as it got closer to the time, then the lighting dimmed and everyone made their way to their seats, we were happy to find that were sat at the side of Lou and Andy and behind Bubbles and Vicky Pollard, if you guys are out their we loved your costumed. The atmosphere was amazing everyone was very excited and when the curtains opened everyone cheered and I felt weird because its very strange knowing you in the same room as the people you have made a website on for over 1 year, you know them better than you know people from work or college. It was a very good moment because I had been waiting almost 1 year for the show and I had been excited for months at the speed the show was coming in. Anyway on with the review…

The curtains opened the show started, The Little Britain Live opening titles started and then Lou (The real Lou) came out shouting “stop stop” he had lost his friend Andy. It was a bit like pantomime, he was talking to the crowed asking I they had seen him, then all of a sudden, like I expected, their was a jet pack noise and a lot of smoke as Andy jet packed on the stage and into his wheel chair. Then Lou turned round to find Andy sat in his chair and Andy told him to do his Impression. So Lou did his crap but funny impression of Del Boy from Only Fools and Horse and Andy followed to say “what did you do that for? It was crap, you have made a fool of your self” then they started to Head of back to their seat but Andy wanted some sweet so when Lou's back was turned he jumped out of his wheelchair and grabbed a bucket of sweets from the guy off the front row and attempted to throw them into his mouth. Then the two went off stage.

Emily Howard was next and an amazingly fast costume change happened, I was amazed, so as the VT projection went through an amusing intro which was also very amazing, it had been put together like you would never have imagined. Emily and Florence then came ridding in on their Motor-ized bike and road across the stage and got off the bike, they then went into a very rough pub indeed, a sailors pub and started flirting with a sailor, later the sailor asked Emily if she had a massive Willy and the two panicked and went of out of the pub, then Emily came back in and said meet me round the back in three. It was a great sketch.

From then on I can't really remember the running order, so I will just randomly fly off my review of the best sketches, for a list of sketches you can refer to the sketch list above.

Kenny Craig in the Jewellers was great too, he took his fiancé into the Jewellers to buy her an engagement ring, he didn't want to splash out £5000 on the recommended ring so he put his wife to be under and told her he didn't like it, and put the Jeweller under and said he will sell her the cheapest ring he has.

Ray McCooney made his return to the show in the Tour also, in his great sketch with many things to quote. Only a short sketch compared to the others but still a highly amusing sketch, someone comes down and needs to leave to catch a plane and needs to pay the bill but he is no one in sight, so he rings the bell and ray appears and everyone goes crazy, he then needs to find out what things are on the bill which refer to Telephone calls “ye pick up the sprite handle and press 9 for an outside line” and also refers to the Pringles from the mini bar “Once you pop you just cant stop” this sketch made my laugh loads and I think it was truly one of the best sketches.

Carol beer, Carol has moved to a Travel agents now and is still the old Character, A woman and daughter wants to go to Disney Land but as always the computer says no, Carol then recommends some places and drops in a flight to Bolton which gets a cheer from the Audience “Yeah, It's a shit hole” is her reply and everyone just cracked up. Then after they had gone an Old Man makes his way across the stage at record speed, well not really he is very slow, and asks for a once in a life time trip around the world on a cruise first class for under £800 and amazingly the Computer says yes which is very funny.

Mr Mann, Roy has a new Paint shop and Mr Mann drops in for some paint, everyone Cheers and claps like with every sketch. I cant really explain the sketch so I will just drop in quotes. Anyway he drops in for some paint, He stands as far back from the counter as possible and Roy asks if he needs helps, while stood completely still he says no thanks I'm just looking, He then asks for a tin of your best paint please, “Any particular colour” – Roy “I don't want a colour they are to coloury for my liking thank you” – Mr Mann “Oh well then, so what colour do you want?” – Roy “I will have a tin of white paint please” – Mr Mann. Roy then reaches onto the shelf and struggles and reaches of the stepladder and gets down the paint Mr Mann then says with a hint of black meaning grey. The sketch was great near the end, Margaret recommends Maroon but Mr Mann says “It's a little too Maroony” Roy looks at Mr Mann funny and says “What?” and shouts Margaret who shouts down and saying that a lot of people say that. A truly great sketch.

1 Hour in we have a break which was a relief for everyone, once again their was a massive rush for drinks but by this point we wasn't bothered, we just needed to go and mop out pants down in the toilets after laughing, naa not really, Andy and Lou and Bubbles and Vicky Pollard stand up and many people start taking pictures, which is very funny. 30misn for a break was too much and by the time the show was coming back on I had lost interest and was bored HA was I hell I was still laughing from the sketches before the break.

After the break were shown a VT of Andy and Lou, Andy wants a tattoo on his face and Lou is trying to talk him out of it, but Andy really wants it, after he has had it done the chair is turned round and we see Andy with a Spider Web on his face and he then says I have made a horrible mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life.

Then we finally get Bubbles and everyone cheers, when she comes out onto stage there is a lot of Gasping and laughing near the front because they can see through he cloths and see her thong, then finally she turns straight into the light so the back people can see it which is very funny, She is visiting the bank manager because of the debt she is in, she is debt of around 160,000 and he strips to the bank manager to pay off her debt and starts to dance naked by this point everyone is already in laughter and is no longer paying attention because they are checking their pants.

Des Kay WICKY-WOO, Des Kay is filling in for Orville because he is feeling slightly Flu-ish (Bird Flu) its set out like a typical camp site night entertainment, with Des Kay calling a Boy and a Boy up onto the stage to play a game of find the sausage, while bringing them onto the stage he picks on one of them and starts slapping their arse and touching them, then he explains the rules and says he wants the Boy (really a 22 year old man from the audience) and tells him to hide the sausage anywhere on his person or the persons body when his back his turned, Des then turns round after hiding it and starts groping and ripping his pants off trying to find the sausage after about 3mins after attacking the guy to the floor he finds the sausage and invites the boy (man) back stage to receive the special prize, a Pencil Case, pencil and two balls. This made me almost wet my self because the man is trying so hard to keep hi pants up but Des Kay is pulling them down.

Well without burning on too much and explaining all of the sketches I will finish up my review.

The last sketch of the night was the Sebastian Sketch, The Prime Minister (Not Tony Head, he is doing another Play and was too expensive) played by Matt is going through a trial separation and is a very tense moment, then Sebastian comes in and breaks the ice, saying what's going on and joins in with the hug, when his wife has gone Sebastian asks if they are breaking up because of him but Michael assures its not a break up its just a trial separation Sebastian tries to Cheer Michael up in the way the guys in the commons bar like cheering up, he then starts to strip but Michael has his head in a report and doesn't notice him stripping, David then neatly tucks ‘it' between his legs (You know what I'm referring too) and turns round to Michael and says “Duh Derr” and Michael starts shouting at Sebastian, he then grabs Sebastian and tells him to put his cloths back on. And they both neatly slip and Sebastian is bent over the couch and Michael is behind, then his wife walks in on them which looks as though they are engaged.

Well that becomes the end of my review, unless you want the encore, of course you do it's the best part.

Daffyd, we cant go a full episode without Daffyd, Daffyd comes into the pub and Myfanwy is on the phone to her girl friend, he comes in and there is a police officer at a table and Daffyd comes to hand him self in for being Gay. The policeman explains that it's not a valid crime and refuses to arrest him, then Daffyd breaks into a very funny song about him self and being gay, the VT in the background is very funny with gay men dancing, then David comes on stage along with Paul and they are the backing dancers. Then when this has finished Matt and David come on stage and take credit and bow before everyone, then the lights come on and everyone starts to leave.

The show was great and I really want to go again, it was so funny and visiting the toilet on the way out everyone was talking about it, was a very strange place to talk about things but apart from the Morons that we shouting out which I personally thought were annoying it was the best live event I have ever been too.

This review is copyright of John Slater, it may not be reprinted without permission.