Vicky Pollard

Vicky is at home and a social worker has come to check up on Vicky and her baby, Vicky takes the worker to her room and they start having a chat about the baby. Vicky keeps steering away from the subject. When the social worker gets mad and asks Vicky where the baby is Vicky says she has swapped it for a Westlife CD.

Roy and Mr. Mann

Mr. Mann has gone to a toy shop for a pirate memory game ages 4 to 8. The shop keeper (Roy) can’t see one on the shelf so he calls his wife (Margaret) in the back room to ask if she knows if there are any. After a wait for a reply Margaret replies saying there is one on the self in the shop, Roy goes to have a look where Margaret said and finds it straight away. When he shows the game to Mr. Mann he stares at the game for a while and asks Roy if he has any other Pirate memory games, Roy then asks Margaret if there is any and she replies saying no. Mr. Mann then asks Roy if there are any shops that specialise in pirate memory games, says no so Mr. Mann waits.

Marjorie Dawes

Marjorie Dawes pulls Paul to one side to talk about what happened that night out side of fat Fighters. They then agree that they will not tell anyone else about it because they didnt mean to do it. When fat fighters starts Marjorie asks the group to close there eyes and picture them self naked.

Andy and Lou

Lou has kindly offered to paint Andy's bedroom, when Lou asks Andy what colour Andy wants any says he wants Blue, Lou keeps asking Andy if he wants it red or not each time Andy says he wants his room red, so Lou starts doing it. When Lou has almost done he asks Andy if he wants to do the last little bit and Andy says yes. When he has done it Andy waits for a while and says he doesn’t like it and throws the brush down onto the floor.

Len Boove

Len is taking a bus of OAPs on a tour of Pove. He is telling the people about the landmarks and its history, when he does so he also tells the people bout his love life with him and his wife. At every land mark he tells them what he did there it gets quite personal. On the Church Bench him and his wife first kissed, the pub garden is where Len first felt his wife’s breasts, under the bridge was where his wife first performed oral love on Len, Down the path near the shoe smiths was where Len first took his wife up the wrong way.

Daffyd Thomas

At the pub in Daffyd home town Myfanwy has closed early for a gay night for Daffyd, Daffyd is putting the finishing touches to the food and drink. When it gets to 7.55 Daffyd says he might as well go home because no gays are coming because he is the only gay. When he is about to leave a huge crowd of gays come pilling through the door, so Daffyd picks up a bar stool and tells them to get back, when they are still not listening Daffyd cries out "Get back, get back you gay bastards!" and locks the door. Then he asks Myfanwy what he should do so she says just let them in, Daffyd then unlocks the door and tells them there is only allowed to be one gay in this village so they have to go home.

Edward and Samantha Grant

Sam has invited her parents for tea after she upset them for marrying her former teacher Edward grant. When they arrive Sam goes to put the vegetables on and Edward invites them in, when they sit down he starts to give them a report on Sam's progress, her parents are very confused. Sam then comes in with the wine and Edwards asks her to ask for wine in French.

Bernard Chumley

Bernard has called for a coffin for kitty, when they arrive Bernard is very upset and is being confronted by one of the men. One of the men gets called in, when he comes back to Bernard he tells him he isn’t dead, Bernard then asks them if they can take kitty anyway so the men walk off in disbelief

Mathew Waterhouse

Matt bursts into someone’s office with lots of ideas, the man looks very confused and shocked. Matt them starts telling the office worker about the games he has in mind. He them pulls examples of the games that he has made and one o them is so hard no one has been able to finish it. When he has done the man stops him and tells him that they are not a games manufacture and never were, they just import tyres, Matt just asks what there point is.

Kelsey Grammar School

The teacher comes into the class on a new term and everyone stands, he them goes over to the chalk board and introduces him self to the class. While he is saying his name he is writing a different name on the board.

Edward and Samantha Grant

Edward, Sam and her parents are all sat round the dinner table eating, Samantha’s parents complement Sam on her soup, She then says she owes part of it to a cook book. Edward then angrily says she cheated and throws it in the bin. He then brings coffee for her parents and brings a bottle milk for Samantha.

Sandra and Ralph Patterson

Sandra has taken her son to a audition, Ralph gets called in along with a mans son, when he has gone in she gets chatting about how her son goes to stage school and all the sacrifices she has to make. Sandra tells the man about how she is on the game and how she sold her shoes. When Ralph comes back out they say that they want to call back the mans son, Sandra then goes to say well done and scratches him down the face, she then leaves and starts shouting and Ralph.

Sebastian Love

The prime minister is making some changes to his party speech with Sebastian and some other men. When the two men leave the Japanese prime minister rings the Prime minister up and Sebastian goes to use his bathroom. When Sebastian is done he comes out with just a bath robe on and gets in the prime ministers bed naked, while the prime minister is still on the phone Sebastian gets annoyed so he picks up the phone and asks if there going to be long. The prime minister looks around and Sebastian says be gentle with me prime minister.

Andy and Lou

Andy is sat in his wheel chair eating his own body weight in nuts. Lou comes in with Andy's new wheel chair, when Lou puts Andy in it Andy says he doesn’t like it and wants to get out Lou says he is going to go and make the tea for the two, so Andy jumps out folds the chair up and throws it on the floor and sits in his old one.

Roy and Mr. Mann

Mr. Mann is still in the shop; Margaret calls Roy to tell him there might be a pirate memory game on the shelf in the back room, when he brings the Pirate memory game out to show Mr. Mann he asks how much they are. Roy then tells Mr. Mann that they both retail at £4.95 Mr. Mann then says Oh, I was hoping to spend around £4.80.

Gary and Jason

Gary and Jason are going to see Gary's Nan at her flat, when they arrive Jason asks if he looks ok, when his Nan answers the door she invites them in, Gary then says we will put them away for her, Jason is then left alone with Gary's Nan and he starts talking to her, he is saying that is it hot, he then starts to give her a foot massage and starts sucking on her foot. When Gary walks in the room he tells Jason to get out.

Edward and Samantha Grant

Samantha and Edward are in bed together Edward then tells Samantha that he will not be here the next night and that another teacher will be filling in for him.

World Record Attempt

The Words largest mince pie.